35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. Romans 8:35, 37 NLT
Like most people, I have things in my past that I stuffed deep into my core. I either forgot about it or just didn’t want to deal with it. Either way, it just festered in my heart. How can I grow closer to God if I have unresolved issues? When I started addressing past acts against me and sins I had forgotten about, I started to realize how those things were causing me to sin now. Isn’t that what we want to do…STOP our current sin patterns? When we ignore past bad acts, we are doomed to continue in our sin.
I have a lot of pride and bitterness because of some things I’ve done or were done to me. Through my recovery, I’ve learned how to inventory those sins (as well as many others). Inventory is designed to help you acknowledge your sin and the nature of that sin. When doing an inventory, it is important to pray for guidance and discernment. Ask God to show you areas where you have sinned. First, figure out who/what the sin was directed at or about. What happened (this may be an action against you…not your fault)? How did you react? Did you react in a way that is pleasing to God? If not, how were you feeling in your reaction? Lastly, what are you trying to protect? Is it your ego? Or maybe your security? Or relationship? When you dissect your sin, it allows you to see the patterns. “Hmm, I notice that anytime I’m presented with conflict, I lash out to protect my own security.”
I saw a pattern of selfishness and ego. Acknowledging this, made me realize I idolized myself. I was more important to me than God was. That is a BIG problem. Well, knowing allowed me to be aware of my reactions in similar situations. Awareness brings a desire to change. Change is what I want. Like I said in a previous post, I’m tired of playing God. I’m not qualified and I’m not even good at it.
Some of us are afraid to face what we’ve done or what was done. Know that God loves you anyway. Those things don’t have to define you. Allow God to define you.
Here is some scripture to get you started:
He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. 1 Peter 2:24 NLT
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. Psalms 147:3 NLT
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Psalms 51:12 NLT
I love you and can’t wait to see you again!
Diane